Wet Feet

Boy oh boy, my feet are still wet and cold.
Who knows, they may even grow mold.
That wouldn’t surprise me after the day I’ve had,
I think I’ve gone crazy, some call it “mad.”
The morning started off decent enough,
Jack was up at 5:30a, so that was kinda tough.
But we were all happy and as well rested as could be,
and headed for “Thursday with Nanny and Papa,” you see.
While packing into the truck in the pouring down rain.
Jack was mad at Mikie for wearing his coat which was insane.
It doesn’t even fit him anymore,
but sometimes he just likes to keep score.
With our garage door that still seems to be busted,
I pulled the truck out into the rain as the wind gusted.
Out of the truck and into the garage to shut the heavy door,
like the wheel on the Price is Right, but weighing more.
Bean is going absolutely nuts inside the house,
so I come in and pull up the blinds all crooked and rouse.
I tell her to calm down as I run back in the rain,
to get back in the truck and on the road again.
Off to Nanny and Papa’s we head,
but not without 2 stops on the way to deal with crabby ‘fred.
Jack is mad about everything and nothing at once,
but he said he’d chill out (at least until lunch :).
So we get there and visit with Nanny and Papa, I did too,
Jack asked me a few times, “when you gonna leave, foooo”
So I took off to the grocery store, but first,
ran thru Taco Bell, it wasn’t the best, but also not the worst.
Get then to the store and do my shopping,
hearing the rain pound on the roof, like we need more rain a whopping.
I enjoy the self checkout with no matter how many items I have,
today a nice lady helped me bag, not without dropping my tea (decaf).
Two carts I end up with, well it’s a full two weeks worth of grub.
They offer to help me out, but I am always in this rub.
Sometimes I have the 3 kids and 2 carts, can you just see me?
At least those times I serve the kiddos a cookie for their fee.
So out the doors of the store I head pulling one cart and pushing another.
Wouldn’t you know the wheels on the front cart I discover,
are all dorked and wheel me to the right,
into the path of other shoppers, ohh what a delight.
I manage to get to my truck in the pouring rain,
unload all my goodies and hop in again.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
no miniature sleigh or eight tiny reindeer.
But my truck won’t start, gave new definition to “dead in the water.”
Apparently my lights had been left on, ohh what a bother!
So I call Erk first and he gives me some suggestions to help,
I go back out into the rain to ask an employee with a yelp,
“Umm, do you guys ever have to help someone jump their car battery?”
“WHAT?” the young kid rudely responds without the slightest flattery.
So I ask him again and he pulls the headphones off his head,
Asks me if I know what time it is, “umm my battery is dead!”
He figures out who to call on his walkie talkie thing,
But after being rained on says with a smirk, we can’t do a ‘fing!
I understand store policies and all, I do,
But when Erk and I used to bag groceries, we helped without saying boo.
I walk back and climb into my truck soaking wet,
And call my dear ol’ Dad to help me and you bet.
He was there as soon as he could be, but a spot close enough to jump?
We’d have to wait for a car in front of mine or to the side to move their rump.
Sit there and wait a few minutes did we.
When finally a man and baby came out to be,
in the car just to the left of mine.
But wouldn’t you know all he did was take his time?
Then his “woman” comes out of the store and practically changes her clothes.
Then puts on makeup, tells her life story and must of told her man her woes.
FINALLY they move their rears outta the parking spot,
And Dad had my truck jumped and running right on the dot.
“Thanks Dad!” As we hug a wet hug in the parking lot,
I had to run then to the post office just around the block.
So I park and hope my truck will start back up,
as I pull into my spot my low fuel light comes on, 'son of a pup!
But I quickly get out in the rain when I hear my name called,
It’s a friend and customer of our website so I stop and say ya’ll.
We visit and I run into the post office real quick,
My truck started up fine and I headed home in a lick.
Pull into my driveway and wouldn’t you know?
my coke dumps right in my front seat, way to go!
So I grab what is near to clean it all up,
Molly’s dirty shorts from the back seat of the truck.
I open my back hatch and wouldn’t you know my eggs fall out,
Fortunately none broken, God’s hand caught them, no doubt!
Groceries unloading and my nostrils filled with skunk smell.
That skunk in the road squished now a few times and well…
At least I’m home and alive with just wet feet,
And my groceries are now put away all nice and neat.