Have/Haven't

I Haven’t

met one person who likes to fold laundry and put it away.
peed with the bathroom door closed since 2003.
ever liked my toes.
dropped an “f bomb” in a long time, but I did today (under my breath). I think the last time was June 08?
perfected my bedside manner at 3:45am.
ever voted for a democrat.
followed thru on an exercise regiment longer than a few weeks.
cared to try an adult beverage.
always been as patient as I thought I would be as a mom, but this job is TOUGH.
enjoyed changing the top bunks sheets, not even once.
figured out how my dog’s mind works, does she want in or out?

I Have

painted a picture.
met the current President and Vice President.
talked to myself for years.
thought the building I was in was going to blow up.
eaten an entire row of Ritz crackers in one sitting.
puked in a public restroom (food poisoning, not cool).
had to catch diarrhea in a diaper by a child not wearing one in the middle of an apple orchard.
been subpoenaed and testified in court.
called 9-1-1.
accidentally claimed to have bought something that actually came from Santa.
filed sexual harassment against a fellow employee – this total weirdo who would watch me put groceries in people’s trunks from his parked car in the parking lot (no, it wasn’t Erk :)